Monday, March 3, 2008

The Original Sin was Eve…

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen…Ive always wanted to start an autobiography of my fantastic life. To begin an extended excerpt of all its ups and downs , in betweens and sideways. You may ask ..why has it taken me so long to attempt to capture and contain this ” Untamed ” process ? Well, I dont have an answer for that question at the moment. But as I skim through all of the unbelievable and enticing moments in my mind… I begin to feel more compelled to share them with you strangers. Maybe as a form of contentment for what I have already done, and a prelude to the many things that Im destined to do in the future. Now, not to get ahead of myself. Knowing that there is a fine line between Free Speech, and to what can get one into trouble. I don’t like to gamble, but I am one to take a calculated risk to Open up your Mind.  So what  is she ”really” trying to say , You may be wondering. No, this is not a web cam or erotic chat. And  this is not in any way a “REVIEW” of my services , and has no implications about your time spent with me. At the moment, this is merely a little exercise for my fingers. Well, at least until I have another Massage Session. This is as far as you are going to get into my world until you decide to contact me, and I willingly except the invitation. We are all adults here and people like to communicate with one another. So, this Diary is a ” Sneek Peek ” into me at my leisure . Some names and identities have been changed to protect the innocent , an the ohhh so Guilty (smile) . And I hope you return for another trip into my Little Machine. My Life . . . . ENJOY!
Adults only please!

Posted by Tajae' at 08:40:07 | Permalink | Comments Off

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Free your Mind            P.S. The actual dates of completion are located at the bottom of each story,  so never mind the post dates. Listed in order written.



The Hilton

As you may or may not know, I love to travel . Sure I’ve been to some great places, near and far..but, I’ll always be a sucker for a simple weekend getaway to a nice hotel. We don’t have to leave the room! (Smile) I’ve been a lot of places..(Please don’t take that the wrong way : ) . And I’ll always be in love with a beautifully decorated environment. Cozy atmospheres, and I also enjoy the downtime of doing absolutely nothing once and a while. So yesterday I gave a girlfriend a ride to the Hertz’s rent a car in the Hilton by the airport. Okay, I absolutely hate driving down there, unless im catching a flight, but I’m feeling generous… so I offered to take her. Good thing, I would have missed out! So we arrive. The large oriental style vases and mirror like marble floors entertain your eyes as you wait for the concierge .The smell of Fresh cut flower’s sweeten the air, and everything is so Clean , like I like it. If you know me… I had to go explore this new place. So then my friend was given the key for her car and we parted ways. Back to the front desk I go . I believe his name was De….something, I can’t recall. But I do recall his good looks , and his cute boyish smile. I was attracted to him, and I wanted to get to know him better. So I asked him if it was possible for me to see a room. That was the beginning. Instead of taking the “patrons” I.D., and letting me explore the room on my own, he insisted that he escort me up himself , as I spot his glances down towards my low cut top. The room was located on the 12th floor. So the elevator ride was rather quick. Just long enough for us to exchange “that look” and curious eye contact, and for him to comment on that certain body part he was so “cleverly ” checking out in the lobby. So he opens the door. The View was surprisingly nice for L.A.X. . We were pointed away from the airport, so it was a wonderful view of the city moving and shaking beneath us. I walked over to the window to get a better view, when he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I smiled back at him and flirtingly replied no. He smiles again..more shyly this time. I guess he could see in my eyes that I’ve done this before, (flirting.. I mean, * smile*) I walk over to the bed and trace it’s white linen sheets with my fingertip. I told him that I practice massage , and commented on how good one would feel on the firm bed. He took his Que and laid face down on the bed like a good boy. Without my oils and my table, I had to improvise with dry touch techniques. There are not many long strokes with dry touch, it’s more pressure point and static movements. I began with his lower back. Then I slowly knuckled down past his already loosened leather belt. His legs started to tense up, as I began to massage his inner thighs . There was complete silence
except for his deep exhales , and relaxed rhythmic breathing….
I could tell he was quite excited about this whole situation at work….
( ask me the rest in person!)

Posted by Tajae' at 08:31:45 | Permalink | Comments Off

Saturday, December 22, 2007

~ Wand Of Light ~

By the time I opened the door our planets were already alined.
Stars shot from his eyes and looked right through me so smoothly like satiny cascading clouds from heaven.
Like a gift, He was something royal surrounded by ribbon like skin.
And very hard….blushed and elastic
that greeted my mouth with an ever so silent pop.
In the next room the Candle lit get together
was temporarily vacated to the Outdoors.
A star was making its way through our solar system for a second time in 1000 years.
Along with something magical that would evolve in the guest bedroom once we Escaped.
How did we sneak away so undetected as my heart pumped with so much excitement I could hear it in my ears.

The wind silence reminded me of the seconds before an erupting applause unzipping him.
And below each metallic tooth of the zipper lied another dormant secret.
Each inch lower into pools of ravenous
sappy like desire that transformed into a doorway of lust . I knew a magical substance had to be created in those bountiful sacks generously mounted over my lips.

Wrapped in muscle, each ball responsive to the swift passing of my hot tongue. Ripe and fertile as if they were buried in the scent invading my nostrils diffused from this Gamete Creature. Fuzzy waves of hair tickle my nose as I fondle the sacks sensitive area. . . .

I could feel His bright Blue eyes piercing through me,
like Burning blue Suns below the summit.

~

Grasping his hard element that so happened to be alive , I licked it and Savored every morsel gracing my pallet .

The tip itself increased in size ballooning into a rare stone sanded for fine jewelry.

Salty enough for my tongue to naturally secrete sugar that Caramelized the gigantic head.

Wide mouth as its shoved in , and forces oxygen outward ramming past my wet tonsils.

Teary eyed as each thrust purged deeper , aimlessly slipping out only to be shoved in yet another vast cavern.

~

And with each breath I took I exhaled Eroticism that tingled from in between my legs. 

I longed for the thick Cum ropes to lasso and take me like the Handsome Villain in a Movie.
Rubbing his anus and stroking his Full-Hard on forcefully Pumping out
Endorphins Collected in the Shaft . . .

My Pussy throbbing ,
Soaked with lubrication . . .
as inch by inch It tunneled deeper. . .
~

That’s when a Violet ray of light shot from my finger and traveled clean through him.
Out his cock and back into my mouth … a circle of life involving only one set of genitals.
My clit glowed like the Red spot on Jupiter so distant and Hot as he began Orgasm.

Pre-cum droplets melting on my tongue like snowflakes textiled with fine laden silk.

Looking up, I noticed the blue from his eyes reflecting off of the adjacent wall making it sparkle.
His mouth tilted back so eagerly as if to
catch the shooting star soon to be traveling above us.

Jacking off his cock harder aiming the sticky load into my mouth , as I suck it .

His breathing agonized with the unrelenting tension of the impeding sexual release.
Tides of liquidity saliva askew through mossy rivers of insulated meat.
~

So Natural in Me… The immaculate cock was just using my mouth like masturbation.

~

Siphoning Prisms of dancing lights entwined with the Sweet Gelatin Emulsion.
I could imagine the sticky fluid being released from the pair of magical balls lyi
ng beneath.

The bitter taste of Sweat and Secretion fueled the final Organic moment to ignite , and then . . .

- Grace Falls
- Volcanos Shake
- and he unloads his Great White Lava.

Fumbling with Delight ,
I try to contain the Snowy Melting Mass.
Embracing the dynamic winter as the Creamy white Cum poured and blanketed my face.
Warm and Smothering as it wilted like Fields of Flowers to the floor . . .

The Planets Unlined ,
A Kiss Goodbye ,
Then the Stars Shine Onward . . . .

Dec 1st-22 07 (still incomplete) . P.S. This was a Spontaneous event between me and a long time friend from College. No way in HELL would I ever preform this magical moment with a Stranger, or some Random male. No way in HELL!
Posted by Tajae' at 22:29:24 | Permalink | Comments Off

Friday, May 4, 2007

‘ 

 ’

 ’


“UNFOUNDED FETISH”

By now,

It should be quite obvious that I’m overly sexually charged. And it may also be apparent

that I’m open to the world of bisexuality.
Not a Dyke, believe me I love men and would never give them up.
But my sexual attraction to a beautiful woman is innate and I like girls alot.

So I explored this feeling inside at the ripe age of fifteen.
All my first experiences were with friends that I cleverly seduced.
You know… having a sleep over , I would tell the girl not to sleep on the floor
but in bed with me.
I’m naturally quite intelligent
 so manipulating the young girls was pretty simple .

But then I met Crystal … my very first girlfriend.
 And together we would spawn an Unfounded Fetish.

This was the one girl I could be open to because her mother was a Lesbian.
 She was a virgin,
 so I must admit meeting up with her had a playfully hidden agenda.
 And after just a few times meeting
 our young hearts fell madly in love.

I soon took her virginity,
and I being pure after that was just a distant memory when I was through with her.


Now since her mother was a lesbian and hadn’t had dick for years.
We had ample opportunity
and at times it seemed she encouraged our strangely close “friendship”.
We never told anyone but slept together and sometime’s even showered.
 No one ever really asked so never under estimate the power of denial.
Crystal was a nice looking girl and still is to this day.
Latina, 5′3 with brown doe eyes ,
 long eyelashes and little dime sized nipples. She almost looked like a doll,
and her sincere innocence excited me even more. 
 I was always the bad one.
 And we were into the gothic scene and hated everyone but eachother.

So one night while her mother was sleeping or awake in the next room.
We were having sex with the blinds open by the full moon light. The apartment
 had always been mystical

short of a black cat and a book of spells.
But it was all the sexual freedom that became like a ritual as we practiced different positions .
And on any given day I could enter her with any object of my choice.

Her teenage creamy goodness had been left on many items through out the house.
We tried our best to release the sexual tension that had reached it’s pubertal peak.

We made love everyday and were becoming better at the art of pleasing a woman.


And on this night she was lying on her back
with the moon reflecting off her body like a mirror.
All the lights were off so my mouth used her porcelain skin like an oeuvre outline.

Deep between her legs my lips would kiss and suck on her lips.

As she became more and more moist I slipped my tongue in her tightening spot.

Wrapped around my tongue she became wet and very juicy.

She had cum like this before but tonight the bed was especially drenched.

Not giving it a second thought I continued on with the plentiful eating.


Biting on her clit and spiting on it to keep it slick.

Underneath us the sheets were becoming really saturated now…

And the dampness of the mattress would be a promise of the nasty things to come.

Then she rolled and grinded in my mouth real hard and ejected her tasty orgasm …

Warm and salty on my tongue she excited every taste bud !


So now the sex is over
 and it’s time to do what other fifteen year old girls do at a sleep over.

Collecting herself for a moment she heads for the restroom to get cleaned up.

Her ascent from the bed would reveal the mysteriously soiled area.

Super Saturated .

And seeping through the linen with an amber tint.

I’m thinking , “Maybe its a shadow ?” and asked her to come back and turn on the light.


“Is that what I think it is !”

Trying keep a straight face as I start to chuckle.

Shocked as she could be she apologizes to me again and again.

But I’m already laughing at her now and began to poke fun at her immediately.

After all, we were just kids
 and had no idea some people actually play this as a ” sport ” ! (smile)

So I kept on teasing her pretty badly now
and she began to literally cry in embarrassment.

Looking back , I regret how I treated her that night.

But I would make up for it in the next !

~

Our love was so dirty , our love was so fearless….

And on the next night we were left home alone.

She walked in with her hips nervously griped tight together,

like a faucet tightened to prevent an annoying and constant drip.

Still I wanted her,

And wanted to feel the wetness that popped out of her the night before.

Down my throat and all over my face . Though it wasn’t enough to sway me

from in between her legs.

In fact it was quite the opposite,

And her streaming force would be a surprise that I would come to enjoy.

And the intensity of her orgasm made me very curious and I wanted to know more.


~

I began on top of her with a soft and sensuous kiss .

Then I flipped her around and buried my head deep in between her ass crack.

Pulling apart her gorgeous cheeks revealed her tight hole
that so many guys wanted to fuck…

I soon was vigorously fingering myself over the sweet swell of her virgin anus.

And each pass with my middle finger confirmed the sensitivity of the fragrant rosebud.

Barely avoiding getting my nails tangled in her young ,
unkept pubic hair on the other side.

Fondling her hole, I trapped her anal juices and wetness in my mouth.

And in one probing thrust,

I slid in my tongue like an erect male organ .

I had never entered her rectum before, and in an instant …
She let out a huge moan ….MMMMMMm”

Making sure to run my tongue over every indentation and not.

Forcefully pulling her long black hair I planted my face in her fresh soil.

Swallowing her moist Cum,

As I french kissed her plump ass.

From behind,

I had the perfect view of her tiny pussy stretched out by my wild imagination.

But the reality was that I had already inserted three fingers
and was working on my forth.

And the deeper I slid down inside her
the more her creamy cum would rise and bubble out.

Smooth and zesty like a tasty lemon chiffon cake melting in my mouth.

She’s really taking my four fingers well so I went ahead and slid in my thumb.

Churning the slimy juices of her canal…warm and fleshy in her tight little pussy.

She’s going crazy, as my entire fist fucks her slowly in and out.

Pulling it out…

I noticed my arm would have been the equivalent of a thick 20 inch cock!

I twist my fist deep down inside …DEEPER!

 Then pulled out my fist and suck it in her again.

Pulled it out …. in and out ,

and then deeper I went…


When suddenly,

I recognize that taste … as the first spurt enters my mouth so hot.
Then the familiar stinging sensation that quickly turned my lips a blushing red.

And as She’s surrounds me with her pink flesh , I remove my hand and go down on her..

Then I suck on and excite her previously undisturbed clitoris.

“I think I’m doing it again”

She uttered out in just a whisper as I suck on her clit.

Trembling and shaking she once again releases her liquid female nut.

But this time I encouraged it…. begging her to cum that much harder… HARDER!

And as I sampled her unique flavor,
I knew that this was the biggest orgasm she had ever had!


~

We both cum…

And indulge ourselves in a final loving kiss.

And the new flavor would now become a kinky orgasm for the both of us to enjoy.

” Two young girls discover a feeling that most women have yet to find out ! “

And so it was…

A fortunate accident would spawn a deep Unfounded Fetish.


                                                                             completed May 4 2007

Posted by Tajae' at 11:08:28 | Permalink | Comments Off

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Click on “HOT LINK” for NEW LOCATION!

Catch me while the Oils still HOT!...

Posted by Tajae' at 08:24:02 | Permalink | Comments Off

Friday, October 20, 2006

Pink

Giving a Female to Female massage has to be one of the most erotic perks of my Job. If you’ve ever had a craving for something soft and incredibly sweet , then you can imagine how it is for two hot chicks to be with each other.
 The intimacy can be very intense…If you do it right and take your time.
Honestly, women rarely call me to receive a sensual massage.
Sure we may treat ourselves by getting our hair and nails done from time to time.
But generally women don’t “treat” themselves to the strip club.
Nor do we usually pay for a sensuous or erotic experience.
But there is always an exception to the rule and just like flipping a coin, a woman is unpredictable.
Similar to a man , some women like the Variety of shopping for something new.

Now, I don’t do Outcall..period. I graduated to incall when I was about twenty years old .
But this was a friend of a friend that had mentioned to her that I was a Talented Masseuse.
So I took the trip and arrived at her fantastic apartment over looking Long Beach Harbor.

She answered the door wearing a strapless white top that nicely accented her grape like breast.
They were small and perky, as I glanced down to her little pink undies that fit her just right.
 I greeted her with a warm hug , as we commented on each other’s nice scent.
Separating from our embrace, we both locked eyes and the chemistry was there.
So then she offered me a glass of wine and gave me a brief tour of her place.
During the small talk,
I asked her if she had ever been with another girl .
She replied No, but on a dare … she said that she made out with her best friend once.
With a big smile on her face , she gingerly admitted she enjoyed it a little more than her friend did.
Since that day… she’s always wanted to experience the passion of being with another woman. 
That made me want to make the night all the more special for her .
So I suggested we do the massage in her bedroom with the best ocean view.

The night lights were dancing and shimmering between the calm ripples of the water.

The fog horns echoing in the pale background reminded me of being in an old 1930’s movie.
Time stood still as I laid her face down on the table….
just like I like it. I began at her bottom drizzling the warm oil between her golden mounds.
She remained perfectly still as I massaged her lower back and tight buttox.
With one hand working on the base of her spine,
 I reached the other upward and caressed her neck.
That was when the first whimper was released and I knew that she was enjoying herself.
I had found her “spot’ , so I bent over and began to nibble on it gently.
At this point there was no turning back,
and she let out a loud pleasurable moan.
I was very turned on myself and also began to moan in excitement .
We both Craved each other.
And needless to say the line of professionalism had long been crossed.
So I turned her over and we began to deeply kiss each other madly.
Her tongue tasted so good in my mouth I could imagine how the rest of her would taste.
She was just as much into me fondling my breast and playfully biting my lower lip.
I kissed her neck down to her chest , and grabbed a grape between my teeth.
Already ripe and erect I took my time worshiping my favorite spot.
So I ran my hand down to her tight cotton panties which were already very, very wet.
With Her legs spread wide… I carefully slid them off as they absorbed as much as they could.
I could tell she was beginning to cum and indeed, a tiny spurt exited her urethra.
Hot and wet against my face, the puddle beneath her began to grow and grow ……..

She used both hands to expose her little pink button peeking from it’s hood. She laid her head back, and closed her eye’s as I fingered and manhandled her swollen spot.

Finally a loud moan erupted from her throat as her legs stiffened.

Her hips rising from the table exploded into a gushing orgasm.

As she quivered and trembled and her body shook , I knew she had finally arrived.

Suddenly she cried out… I”M CUMMING!! I’M CUMMING!!…

with juices soaking the towel underneath her.

It was such a wonderful night….

And later on it was sexy seeing her swallow all of me!

” I finished her off with fava beans and a nice Chianti “.  (smile)

…..

P.S. This was a personal session between two consenting adults. NO money was exchanged (duh!)

Posted by Tajae' at 08:27:23 | Permalink | Comments Off

Monday, October 2, 2006

Punishment is your Reward   

( in periwinkle blue )

We are all aware that labels are given to us by society. At birth you are given a name.
At death you are given a cause.
And if you disobey the rules in between , you are given a number and cell.
But at one time in my life I was also given a label and name.
They called me Madam and I was a dominatrix. It was only for a short while.
I was young in the entertainment industry and wanted to make as much money as possible without morally exploiting myself.
So I was introduced to it by an older woman who was already established with all the client connections.
I thought it would be an interesting thing to try and I was assured there would be no sex.

I began to do my research by reading books and watching movies.
One of the first things you want to find out is what position your more naturally comfortable with.
Nothing in life was ever given to me so being submissive didn’t seem like my cup of tea.
Plus I was more attracted to the authority that came with being a dom.

My very first session was with a timid little man who lived in the old quiet part of Brentwood.
He was in his late 40’s balding and very short with coke bottle glasses
He always stayed in character answering every word with mistress or madam.
A total nerd at first look, but I would learn that looks can be deceiving.

Everything in his place was immaculate. Nothing fancy at all but very neat and clean.
We introduced one another with a pleasant handshake and he offered me a beer I had earlier requested.
We talked for a little bit when he told me that there is a girl he regulars with.
A dominatrix named Pandora and I had previously seen some of her work.
So he pops in a recorded session with him the Mistress .
Also the various instruments that we would later use were closely near by.

She’s stunning…wearing the black patent leather boots trade mark of a Dom.
He’s in his undies bound and standing in the center of the room .
Nothing special , as she fires a barrage of random insults on him .
I’m thinking words can’t hurt that bad just before she lifts her leg and spiked leather boot.
Suddenly in some type of Wonder Woman pose she
pulls back her leg and lines it up with his crotch.
My eyes widen in shock and amazement and before you know it the vixen strikes.
BAM!!! Right square in the nut’s! OUCH! I
I’m a girl and it hurt ME to watch!.

Then she raises her boot again and I swear you could hear the cookies crumble.
She kicks him about a dozen times before he makes more than a sigh.
And she kicks him with all of her might and at times took a running start!

Well at this point I’m in total disbelief and just trying to keep the sudsy beer down .
I don’t know whether to bust out into laughter or to get the man a bag of ice ! (Smile).

I mean , I wasn’t exactly expecting this. And I admit I exaggerated a bit on my experience.
But this guy was way out of my league and my bluff was staring me right in the face.

What things would he expect from me ?. And what things would I have the stomach to pull off?.

Things were getting a bit too heavy and I needed to access the situation.
So I excused myself as he tediously rewound the dubious home movie.

In the solace of the restroom I began to think about what my teacher had taught me.
About how I should behave. Never losing total authority!
I knew that if I left that restroom with even a hint of fear or doubt .
The session would be a total wash and I would always wonder what might have been.

I’m the type of person who gives everything my very best shot . And I wasn’t going to except that I was afraid of something and chickened out!
So I sucked it up and went back into the vixen character that I created.

So we left the living room and entered a den like living area.
In the center of the room was a plastic lawnchair with blue tarp flattened underneath it .
A large hole at the bottom of the chair had been creatively constructed.
And there were large red candles illuminating the shadows of the under furnished room .
I cracked open another beer along with a joke to try and break the ice .
Wow! He had a sense of humor and we laughed and began to feel more comfortable .
After the laugh’s subsided it was back to the rotten business at hand. So he sat in the bottomless chair of leisure and requested what he wanted .

I gathered the rope and his arms and legs and bound them to the chair.
We had earlier established a “safe word “just incase things got too intense.
I’m surprised I still remember it.
It was PANDA . Because cries don’t necessarily mean stop in S&M.
“NO” usually means “More” And it takes some time to get used to the fact your not hurting them.

I began with a light flogging . He was getting excited and I was curious to see his reactions.
So I grabbed one of the burning candles and preceded to pour the hot wax all over his chest .

I reached for my leather whip and violently beat it into his blushing skin.
He was really enjoying himself as his head began to move about uncontrollably.

Being in total control felt so good I soon was wet and began to throb. As tiny beads of sweat had moistened my inner thighs and thong. I wanted him to know who was in charge so I blindfolded him and slid in a plug. His eyes took on the emotion of indulgence as he was reshaped and shoved along. So I began to hit him harder and thrust the plug deeper inside. As the perverse assault continued ,
I had never done this before but admit it was kinky. I asked him how it felt and his lucid response was very arousing.

I knew his orgasm was well on it’s way with the rhythmic attention to the sensitive entry. Finally, lubricated with his own juices it was time to excavate the slave. And with the merciless spiral of the riding crop , I took him in the most vulnerable way.

My inflated ego began to rise… My submissive on the other hand was not rising at all .

He apologizes several times swears their’s only one thing to assist in that department .
He excuses himself to his bedroom while I take stock of me being on top.

Dom 2 vs. Sub 1 … and I had much more punishment in store for him.

Round 2.   So I open my final beer and go into the bedroom.

I have to say that this was the most ornate room of his house. His tools were uniformly displayed in glass cases and his leather whips were polished and mounted .So once again he is restrained but this time to the rod iron of his canopy bed. He was already fitted with the instrument of pain that I was about to administer .

Punishment became his reward as he glazed himself with olive oil.
He’s laying comfortable face down on the bed.
Eagerly anticipating me….just like I like it.

He is tightly fitted with a metal ring with wires attached to a hand held controller.
 He seemed a bit snug in it and quite restrained and very restricted.

Now you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to understand what is about to go down.
 And remember this is my very first time as crank up the intimidating strange devise.

Just a moments pause then… Zap Zap Zap!! Oh the poor guy!.

He’s totally excited now and he finally swells up to a bullish size.
But how much more of this torture could I take as he’s turning colors in the process.

Minutes pass like hours… first red , then purple , then a periwinkle blue.
What a mess if one explodes ! And he’s starting to look like a “Paint by Numbers” ( smile ) .
I couldn’t take much more of this discipline. But before I could say “Panda”, he had had his fill .The session was finally over….so I untied him and it was done.

He thanks me for a wonderful evening and immediately requests me again to my Mistress.

I never return.

Nothing personal. It just wasn’t my thing plus I didn’t even have an orgasm . I mean I was just beating this poor guy when I would rather be receiving C-u-n-n-i-l-i-n-g-u-s (oooh La La !).

I remained in that industry for less than 6 months and most girls don’t even last that long. The only reason I lasted that long is because of this “one of a kind” peculiar experience.  I was later told that this was way too intense for the novice beginner.( Yeah, they tell me LATER!!) Every session after that was like shooting free throws . No one else could “shock” and manipulate me like he did .
And for your sanity and my own, I failed to mention other techniques administered.

In the world of BDSM , it’s the Pain inside that takes the form of a whip.

Sometime it’s easer to hurt on the outside ….

trying to distract the pain within.

Fantasy swinger session / NO money was exchanged!

Started in late nov. and completed dec. 10th

Posted by Tajae' at 20:47:46 | Permalink | Comments Off

Sunday, October 1, 2006

A Dark Love Letter

 

 

The doubt in your mind feels like a noose placed tight around my neck.

Ready to snap and end an already lifeless existence.

Ready to send me to the edge of my fragile belief of ever finding lasting love,

and is only like a band-aid to slow the uncomfort of a dying heart.

The pressure is unstable . My heart has suffered .

The only remedy is to have you.

The creator on my tranquil world.

The keeper of my thoughts , and the administrator of my pain.

Keeping me submerged in my own self guilt and self doubt.

Apologizing for a crime that I haven’t even committed.

Yet you are my executioner.

I’d rather burn than have you doubt me.

 

The thought of ever hurting you impels me like razor sharp knives,

disecting the layers of my already severed heart.

Like the blade in my hand you protect me from my suffering.

The antidote to my poisoned reality and my crippled existence.

The star that brightened up my world and my future.

You are the beautiful music that I hear in complete silence.

 

~ You are the Queen and I am your slave ~

 

Your doubt of my love feels to me like an injury.

Deny me of the face I never want to see.

Grant me escape from my personal torment.

Re-breathe life in my soiled lungs.

Everything that I’ve ever loved is robbed and taken away.

Submitting to you will be my only mistake.

 

But you are almighty.

I ingest you like a succulent treat.

The inner demon to create my tears , and the inner child

to take them away.

Still I’m molested and lost,

bitter and empty.

Maybe you deserve someone sweet , not bitter . . . someone like yourself ?

Like a fool I thought that black could turn to white,

and that evil could mutate to good.

The truth is that you’re my only Heaven.

So let’s melt into each others souls.

 

My love,

I will never be untrue.

I just want to live to love you.

Chase away my pain with your healing hands.

Drain the venom from my veins.

You amaze me in every way.

Your loss of love will send violence in my mind.

 

This is my fear,

Losing you has become my only fear.

~ I sold my soul to you ~

 

 

 

 

 

“4 angela”

 

 

Posted by Tajae' at 09:12:24 | Permalink | Comments Off